Many people with ADHD feel misunderstood by their partner. They know they've fallen short in real ways — forgotten things that mattered, spent impulsively, said yes to too much and delivered too little, lost track of time in ways that affected plans and trust. Yet it seems like no matter how much effort they put in to change things, every new difficulty becomes further evidence of a narrative they can't change, with their partner seeming unable to perceive when things have gotten better.
Some can take in feedback and their relationship starts to shift. Others perceive feedback as unfair or confirming something they already fear about themselves. They shut down, withdraw, or respond with anger or blame, with these reactions increasing the distance in the relationship.
People who feel chronically defensive or ashamed have less capacity to stay present in difficult conversations and collaborate on how to fix things. Individual therapy helps you develop a clearer and more stable sense of yourself that doesn't depend on whether your partner is frustrated with you that week — it comes from a more balanced understanding of how you function and what you've been working against.
If this is where you are, I'd welcome the chance to talk.